One of the momentous event in this chapter was the time when Father Damaso had expressed his interventions to the teacher's way of bringing up the class. The teacher was prohibited to teach Spanish language to his pupils because it doesn't fit for them, that they only need to learn tagalog language and not Sapanish. On the other hand, he was compared to another character known as Maestro Circuela, a teacher who doesn't know how to read and yet founded his own school and thought a lot of children how to read. The teacher was insulted by such comparison. However, he pursue studying Spanish, just for his own sake. The situation looks like a hindrance towards the poor pupils of him to learn more things they wanted to.
This story that was written in Rizal's novel is still relevant in todays situation. Like in the past, there are still people who used to restrict teachers to do their own way of teaching the students and prohibit them to discover more beyond what they've learned. To go down deeper, education before was being oppressed. Oppressed in the way that it cutails the rigth of the person to be aware and get proper education. However, as of now, it goes beyond oppression. Education is now commercialized by the present wild Damaso's of our nation. It gives boundaries to the poor to attain such knowledge that can only be gained inside the colleges and universities. It is no longer a right but a previlege. The reality shows no more fairness and a total discrimination to the poor. Sad to say but we need to accept the fact that several children can no longer be seen inside the schools. They are present in the markets and in the fields; doing works that are not suited for their age. Teachers earn low sallaries despite of their noble profession. If this commercialization of education will continue to propagate and kill the dreams and future of the many, without considering the fact that we're facing a serious economic crisis would definitely bring detriments -not only in our country but even in the whole humanity.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Pilosopo Tasyo
The character in Noli Me Tangere named Mang Pilosopo Tasyo was the old Don Anastacio of his home town. He is the man who used to wander around the streets and who doesn't know where to go and doesn't care where to live or stay. He was tagged as stupid and weird old man in their place. As a matter of fact, a lot of people have been calling him as crazy. A man with a touched of benign lunacy. In the novel, he has brought various of significance. In fact, he serves as the man who has the knowledge which is capable of changing the worst into better. He looks like the rejected key for a success. A metaphor of how should a man think in that very moment of colonization. He symbolizes desprate culture: the East and the West which can be seen and felt how he viewed the people and their situations.
In my part, I am stun by his characteristic, by his principles in life, and through his perspectives towards the things that were happening around him. He has this thoughts that others don't have. The power of solving schemes that have been planted by the enemies. If I'll reflect and interpret his being. Tasyo's character attempts to show us that reciprocal inhibition resorting to other activities to forget unpleasant experiences is the common refuge of a person like him. Repressing his personal problems through learning was the way to preserve the appearance of sanity and blend in with the "normal" world. The irony is, the more learned he was, the farther he moved away from what is perceived to be sane. It somehow shows the idealism beyond of his idleness, that through such insights and critical ideas, he became deviant to the eyes of the public and considered him as mentally-illed. That his attitude in seeking solace through learning had change him and made him the way others don't want to perceived. However, he is an inspiration for me in the manner that we must balance our priorities and think critically but not in a weird way like Tasyo does.
If we have Pilosopo Tasyo in this present time, that would be Sen. Meriam Defensor Santiago -Tasyo's woman counterpart. She is a great legislator, she had passed laws that provided fairness and benefits to us Filipinos. She had manifested capabilities in unleashing fresh ideas and giving end that justifies the means that are really new to us. Though sometimes, like Tasyo, she's tagged as weird professor of UP and kind a crazy woman because of her guts and knowledge. A lot of her opponents in politics have been laughing at her, similarly to the San Diego's people who make fun of Anastacio's odd ideas, such as his theories on the doctrine of Purgatory and that there is method to his madness. Indeed, they have a lot of resemblances in terms of their perspectives and principles in life -that a Tasyo in the novel has its benefit towards our community.
In my part, I am stun by his characteristic, by his principles in life, and through his perspectives towards the things that were happening around him. He has this thoughts that others don't have. The power of solving schemes that have been planted by the enemies. If I'll reflect and interpret his being. Tasyo's character attempts to show us that reciprocal inhibition resorting to other activities to forget unpleasant experiences is the common refuge of a person like him. Repressing his personal problems through learning was the way to preserve the appearance of sanity and blend in with the "normal" world. The irony is, the more learned he was, the farther he moved away from what is perceived to be sane. It somehow shows the idealism beyond of his idleness, that through such insights and critical ideas, he became deviant to the eyes of the public and considered him as mentally-illed. That his attitude in seeking solace through learning had change him and made him the way others don't want to perceived. However, he is an inspiration for me in the manner that we must balance our priorities and think critically but not in a weird way like Tasyo does.
If we have Pilosopo Tasyo in this present time, that would be Sen. Meriam Defensor Santiago -Tasyo's woman counterpart. She is a great legislator, she had passed laws that provided fairness and benefits to us Filipinos. She had manifested capabilities in unleashing fresh ideas and giving end that justifies the means that are really new to us. Though sometimes, like Tasyo, she's tagged as weird professor of UP and kind a crazy woman because of her guts and knowledge. A lot of her opponents in politics have been laughing at her, similarly to the San Diego's people who make fun of Anastacio's odd ideas, such as his theories on the doctrine of Purgatory and that there is method to his madness. Indeed, they have a lot of resemblances in terms of their perspectives and principles in life -that a Tasyo in the novel has its benefit towards our community.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The Philippines: A Century Hence
Rizal was indeed a good writer and a historian as well. He had presented predictions for the country that are prophecy to consider. The essay was written in Madrid, September 20, 1889 – February 1, 1890 in Spanish. He showed us the clear idea of how our Motherland will end up centuries later proposing that we will end up in either of the three ways: That the Philippines will remain to be a colony of Spain but will be in good terms with it’s captors, that the Philippines will try to cut the ties of our Motherland from it’s captors through violent means, and lastly that we will be colonized by another country.
The abuse of human rights, the lack of freedom of the press and the lack of representation in the Spanish Cortes are the key points he discussed. Dr. Jose Rizal warned the Spanish colonizers that if they wouldn’t stop their abuse to the natives, they will plot separatist movements putting justice into their own hands. He had seen the uprising of the countries in that certain era so he had think that another colony will be ruling the country. Thus allowing the Filipinos to regain its lost freedom. Based on the readings, it looks like he wanted a total separation from the colonizers, not a favorable adoption treatment from them. He looked forward for the country's future. Knowing that though he'll pass away, there's still chances of winning and bringing back the lost identity and rights of the citizens to their country.
Pondering on such prophecy of him is a good thing to do. We must affirm to our national hero's vision on attaining freedom until now. Despite the fact that there are still Spaniards in Filipinos personalities, we need to learn how to live life with unity in order to a continually achieve the ultimate goal. To be free at last! To be free forever!
The abuse of human rights, the lack of freedom of the press and the lack of representation in the Spanish Cortes are the key points he discussed. Dr. Jose Rizal warned the Spanish colonizers that if they wouldn’t stop their abuse to the natives, they will plot separatist movements putting justice into their own hands. He had seen the uprising of the countries in that certain era so he had think that another colony will be ruling the country. Thus allowing the Filipinos to regain its lost freedom. Based on the readings, it looks like he wanted a total separation from the colonizers, not a favorable adoption treatment from them. He looked forward for the country's future. Knowing that though he'll pass away, there's still chances of winning and bringing back the lost identity and rights of the citizens to their country.
Pondering on such prophecy of him is a good thing to do. We must affirm to our national hero's vision on attaining freedom until now. Despite the fact that there are still Spaniards in Filipinos personalities, we need to learn how to live life with unity in order to a continually achieve the ultimate goal. To be free at last! To be free forever!
To the Young Women of Malolos
This famous letter was written by Jose Rizal in Tagalog, while he was in London, upon the request of M. H. del Pilar. The story behind this letter is that a group of twenty young women of Malolos petitioned governor-general Weyler for permission to open a “night school” so that they might study Spanish. The young women bravely continued their agitation of the school despite of the objections. Until they had finally succeeded in obtaining government's approval.
According to Rizal, women in Malolos must be reasonable and open their eyes because they are the first to influence the consciousness of man. He reminded them to always put in their mind that it is better to die with honor that living with dishonor nor spending on her knees, nor in endless prayers, reading novenas, and practicing "awits" from the church, because she is quickened by hope in the future. That nobody has the right to subjugate one another. With Rizal's letter to the young women of Malolos want to say is that, the women must reflect, see the situation of the country, and see how they can stand and crown theirselves with success and knowledge.
Their courage to stand for their right and pursue their aspirations had been an eye opener to the other Filipinos. It simply shows that either man or woman: All has its capacity to insists and reject the imbalances given to them.
According to Rizal, women in Malolos must be reasonable and open their eyes because they are the first to influence the consciousness of man. He reminded them to always put in their mind that it is better to die with honor that living with dishonor nor spending on her knees, nor in endless prayers, reading novenas, and practicing "awits" from the church, because she is quickened by hope in the future. That nobody has the right to subjugate one another. With Rizal's letter to the young women of Malolos want to say is that, the women must reflect, see the situation of the country, and see how they can stand and crown theirselves with success and knowledge.
Their courage to stand for their right and pursue their aspirations had been an eye opener to the other Filipinos. It simply shows that either man or woman: All has its capacity to insists and reject the imbalances given to them.
The Indolence of the Filipinos
The word indolence have been understood as the little love for work and lack of energy. However in our country, this is ones and another's faults, the short coming of ones and the misdeeds of anothers. The foremost hero has wriiten his most sociological and compelling essay for the reason behind that he had seen how troubles and turmoils brought such illness towards his countrymen. Admitting the truth that indolence does exist among the people. This courageous writing was originally written in Spanish that was published in La Solidaridad.
The essay written were divided into different perspective. Forming comparisons beyond the contrasts. Rizal had pointed out what were the sources and the causes of such detriment. He had said that illness will worsen if the wrong treatment is given. The same applies to indolence. He encourages the Filipinos to continue in figthing against it, despite the fact that the reasons of economic and cultural decadence were present. The Spaniards thought the Filipinos to be inferior resulted to lackness of national sentiments. For him, Filipinos are not to be blame to their misfortunes as they are not their own masters. The colonizers who spared influences among us had caused the deterioration of our very own values.
Indeed, the problem was brought about by the corrupt masters. Not by us. Not from our heritage, never from our pre-hispanic ancestors. Because the Philippines' indolence is a clear chronic malady not heriditary.
The essay written were divided into different perspective. Forming comparisons beyond the contrasts. Rizal had pointed out what were the sources and the causes of such detriment. He had said that illness will worsen if the wrong treatment is given. The same applies to indolence. He encourages the Filipinos to continue in figthing against it, despite the fact that the reasons of economic and cultural decadence were present. The Spaniards thought the Filipinos to be inferior resulted to lackness of national sentiments. For him, Filipinos are not to be blame to their misfortunes as they are not their own masters. The colonizers who spared influences among us had caused the deterioration of our very own values.
Indeed, the problem was brought about by the corrupt masters. Not by us. Not from our heritage, never from our pre-hispanic ancestors. Because the Philippines' indolence is a clear chronic malady not heriditary.
Tita Cory: Ang Babaeng may Laban
Mahirap para sa isang ginang na sumabak sa politika kung saan ay makakaharap niya ang isang batikang politiko na kasalukoyang naka-upo sa posisyong kanyang tatakbuhan. Higit sa lahat kung wala siyang karanasang pampolitika.
Iba ang imaheng bumungad sa madla ng simpleng may bahay ni dating Senador Ninoy Aquino na si Corazon Cojuangco Aquino o kilala bilang “Tita Cory” nang tanggapin niya ang hamong labanan ang diktador na si Marcos. Sa suportang ibinigay ng sambayanang pilipino, nabigyang tuldok ang gahaman at mapang-aping pamahalaang Martial Law ni Ferdinand Marcos sa pamamagitan ng isang People Power.
Nahalal si tita Cory bilang kaunaunahang babaeng presidente hindi lamang dito sa Pilipinas maging sa buong Asya. Nagkamit siya ng papuri't suporta mula sa iba't ibang panig ng daigdig. Maraming humanga sa kanyang katapangan lalong-lalo na ang kongreso ng America. Sa katunayan nga ay naging inspirasyon siya ng ibang bansa na lumaban para sa kanilang karapatan at kapayapaan. Kinilala bilang maka-Diyos na lider ng simbahang Katolika at maging man ng ibang sekta.
Sa walang pag-aalinlangan, hinarap niya ang kanyang responsibilidad bilang pangulo. Pangulong hindi nag-aatubiling magtanong at kumunsulta sa mga bagay na hindi niya alam. Isang pinuno na pinapanatili ang kapayapaan at katahimikan ng sambayanan.
Sa aspeto ng ekonomiya, isinaayos niya ang proseso ng kalakalaan sa tulong ng kanyang mga gabay. Ibinalik niya ang mga naisinarang establisyemento gaya na lang ng ABS-CBN. Binuhay niya ang pag-asa sa bawat mamamayang pilipino na mamuhay ng masagana't matiwasay.
Maging sa larangan ng pagbuo ng batas, inamendahan niya ang isang bago at mas matibay na konstitusyon ng ating bansa noong 1987 kasama ang kongreso. Bagamat hindi perpekto ang kanyang pamamahala at may mga coup o pag-aaalsa laban sa kanyang administrasyon ay walang takot niya itong hinarap at sinulusyonan. Hindi siya gumamit ng dahas upang masugpo ang sino mang may gustong magpababa sa kanya sa pwestong kinauupuan. Hindi hamak na malaki ang kanyang ipinagkaiba sa lahat ng naging pangulo.
Sa panahong matatapos na ang kanyang termino, sinabi niya na walang sino man ang makakaagaw pa sa tinatamo nating demokrasya. Isinuguro niyang magiging maayos ang eleksyong magaganap. Inindurso pa nga niya ang isang tapat na kaalyado ng kanyang administrasyon na si Fidel Ramos bilang presidente na siya ring nanalo.
Kahit na maraming bagay ang kanyang inaasikaso sa mga panahong iyon, hindi niya pinabayaan ang kanyang mga anak. Tulad ng kanyang pag-aaruga at pagmamahal sa sambayanan, ipinadama niya rin ito sa kanila. Ipinakita na magagampanan niya ang mga responsibilidad niya sa kanyang pamilya .
Kahit wala na siya sa panunungkulan, marami paring hamon ng buhay ang kanyang nilabanan. Gaya na lamang ng mga kritisismo at mga panlalait ng mga nakatunggali sa politika. Ngunit ang pinakahuli rito ay ang kanyang sarili. Ang pagkakaroon ng kanser sa kolon ang bumago sa takbo ng buhay niya. Matindi ang sakit na siyang nilabanan ng kanyang katawan. Dumaan siya sa iba't ibang klaseng proseso ng gamotan na lubhang mahirap para sa isang may edad na gaya niya. Sa kanyang laban, naririyan parin ang kanyang mga tagasuporta at mga kaaliyado. Ang sambayanang pilipino ay sabay-sabay na nagdasal para sa kanyang madaliang paggaling . Ngunit sa bandang huli ay pumanaw siya. Pumanaw nang may galak sa puso't isipan ayon sa kanyang mga anak.
Hagulgol, iyak at lungkot ang naramdaman ng buong bansa sa mga panahong iyon. Nakikidalamhati sa kanyang paglisan. Sinariwa ang kanyang kabutihan at kontribusyon para sa inang bayan.
Yumao na nga ang ating tita Cory ngunit ang kanyang nagawa sa ating bayan ay nakamarka na sa ating kasaysayan. Kasaysayang bumago sa ating lipunan at buhay. Wala na nga ang babaeng may lumaban, pero hindi ito nangangahulugang wala narin ang demokrasya ng bayan. Magpapatuloy ang laban nang lahing pilipino kasama ang pangulong nagbigay kahulugan sa kulay na dilaw. Ang tumayo at nagpakita ng tatag at kabutihan sa buong santinakpan.
Iba ang imaheng bumungad sa madla ng simpleng may bahay ni dating Senador Ninoy Aquino na si Corazon Cojuangco Aquino o kilala bilang “Tita Cory” nang tanggapin niya ang hamong labanan ang diktador na si Marcos. Sa suportang ibinigay ng sambayanang pilipino, nabigyang tuldok ang gahaman at mapang-aping pamahalaang Martial Law ni Ferdinand Marcos sa pamamagitan ng isang People Power.
Nahalal si tita Cory bilang kaunaunahang babaeng presidente hindi lamang dito sa Pilipinas maging sa buong Asya. Nagkamit siya ng papuri't suporta mula sa iba't ibang panig ng daigdig. Maraming humanga sa kanyang katapangan lalong-lalo na ang kongreso ng America. Sa katunayan nga ay naging inspirasyon siya ng ibang bansa na lumaban para sa kanilang karapatan at kapayapaan. Kinilala bilang maka-Diyos na lider ng simbahang Katolika at maging man ng ibang sekta.
Sa walang pag-aalinlangan, hinarap niya ang kanyang responsibilidad bilang pangulo. Pangulong hindi nag-aatubiling magtanong at kumunsulta sa mga bagay na hindi niya alam. Isang pinuno na pinapanatili ang kapayapaan at katahimikan ng sambayanan.
Sa aspeto ng ekonomiya, isinaayos niya ang proseso ng kalakalaan sa tulong ng kanyang mga gabay. Ibinalik niya ang mga naisinarang establisyemento gaya na lang ng ABS-CBN. Binuhay niya ang pag-asa sa bawat mamamayang pilipino na mamuhay ng masagana't matiwasay.
Maging sa larangan ng pagbuo ng batas, inamendahan niya ang isang bago at mas matibay na konstitusyon ng ating bansa noong 1987 kasama ang kongreso. Bagamat hindi perpekto ang kanyang pamamahala at may mga coup o pag-aaalsa laban sa kanyang administrasyon ay walang takot niya itong hinarap at sinulusyonan. Hindi siya gumamit ng dahas upang masugpo ang sino mang may gustong magpababa sa kanya sa pwestong kinauupuan. Hindi hamak na malaki ang kanyang ipinagkaiba sa lahat ng naging pangulo.
Sa panahong matatapos na ang kanyang termino, sinabi niya na walang sino man ang makakaagaw pa sa tinatamo nating demokrasya. Isinuguro niyang magiging maayos ang eleksyong magaganap. Inindurso pa nga niya ang isang tapat na kaalyado ng kanyang administrasyon na si Fidel Ramos bilang presidente na siya ring nanalo.
Kahit na maraming bagay ang kanyang inaasikaso sa mga panahong iyon, hindi niya pinabayaan ang kanyang mga anak. Tulad ng kanyang pag-aaruga at pagmamahal sa sambayanan, ipinadama niya rin ito sa kanila. Ipinakita na magagampanan niya ang mga responsibilidad niya sa kanyang pamilya .
Kahit wala na siya sa panunungkulan, marami paring hamon ng buhay ang kanyang nilabanan. Gaya na lamang ng mga kritisismo at mga panlalait ng mga nakatunggali sa politika. Ngunit ang pinakahuli rito ay ang kanyang sarili. Ang pagkakaroon ng kanser sa kolon ang bumago sa takbo ng buhay niya. Matindi ang sakit na siyang nilabanan ng kanyang katawan. Dumaan siya sa iba't ibang klaseng proseso ng gamotan na lubhang mahirap para sa isang may edad na gaya niya. Sa kanyang laban, naririyan parin ang kanyang mga tagasuporta at mga kaaliyado. Ang sambayanang pilipino ay sabay-sabay na nagdasal para sa kanyang madaliang paggaling . Ngunit sa bandang huli ay pumanaw siya. Pumanaw nang may galak sa puso't isipan ayon sa kanyang mga anak.
Hagulgol, iyak at lungkot ang naramdaman ng buong bansa sa mga panahong iyon. Nakikidalamhati sa kanyang paglisan. Sinariwa ang kanyang kabutihan at kontribusyon para sa inang bayan.
Yumao na nga ang ating tita Cory ngunit ang kanyang nagawa sa ating bayan ay nakamarka na sa ating kasaysayan. Kasaysayang bumago sa ating lipunan at buhay. Wala na nga ang babaeng may lumaban, pero hindi ito nangangahulugang wala narin ang demokrasya ng bayan. Magpapatuloy ang laban nang lahing pilipino kasama ang pangulong nagbigay kahulugan sa kulay na dilaw. Ang tumayo at nagpakita ng tatag at kabutihan sa buong santinakpan.
Mr. Torpeng Tanga
Heto na naman ako, nakatunganga't hindi alam kung ano ang gagawin. Pinipilit ang sariling makapag-isip ng hakbang para mawala sa isipan ang problemang hinaharap. Sa mga oras na ito'y hawak-hawak ko na naman ang telepono. Nagnanais na makausap ang taong makakapawi sa lungkot at pangungulilang nadarama, ngunit 'di ko man lang mapindot-pindot ang numerong nakasulat sa papel na nakadikit sa bobong. Naalala ko tuloy ang laging wika ni inay na sakit na raw kung maituturing ang katorpehan at katangahang taglay ko. Mr. TT ika nga. Torpeng Tanga. Totoo, may pinagmanahan eh. Akalain mo bang umabot pa ng dalawang taon bago ipinagtapat ni itay kay inay ang kanyang pag-ibig? Kaya walang duda kung bakit ganito nalang ako ka torpe't tanga, dahilan kung bakit nahihirapan akong magsabi at magtapat ng katotohanan.
Alas onse na ng gabi. Nakapatay na ang mga ilaw sa mga kwarto ng dormitoryong pinapasukan ko maliban sa aking silid. Hindi na yata ako matutulog. Nababagabag na kasi ako sa mumunting sigaw ng aking puso. Ewan ko ba at ganito katindi ang aking tama. Kung makikita ko lang sana si kupido, malalagot siya sa akin. Papanain ko siya sa sariling pana niya nang masubukan niyang maboang sa nakakaadik nitong mahika.
Unti-unti nang bumubuhos ang malakas na ulan kasabay ng malamig na hangin sa labas. Naririnig ko ang bawat patak nito. Wari bang nagsasabing “Hoy! Magsalita ka na nga!” at hinahamon ang katapangan ko. Hahaha... Nakakatawa, mukhang wala na man yata akong katapangan ah. Talo ko pa nga siguro ang nirarayumang mamang sumasabak sa gera. Ni hindi na ako makatayo at hindi ko na mapigilang mapaluha kapag naalala siya. Para bang nawawalan ako ng lakas.
Namimiss ko na talaga si Fritz. Siya ang puno't dulo ng aking pagkalugmok. Ang dahilan kung bakit ako balisa sa mga araw na ito. Matagal ko na siyang kaibigan simula pa noong kami'y nasa hayskul. Sikat siya sa kampus, kilala bilang matalino't magandang binbini. Pinagpapantasyahan ng mga kalalakihan. At kinaiingitan ng mga kababaihan. Siguro'y naiinsecure sila kay Fritz. Halos lahat kasi ng bagay ay nasa kanya na. Pinagpalang lubos kung maituturi.
Naalala ko tuloy, minsan ay napaaway ako para lang ipagtanggol siya. Akalain mo ba namang huhusgahan siyang mang-aagaw ng responsibilidad, malandi at epal sa lahat ng bagay ng mga pasosyal naming mga kamag-aral? Hindi siguro nila alam na lumaking mayamang may breeding si Fritz. Kaya, nakakasiguro akong hindi siya ganoong tao. Mabait siya, palakaibigan at mapagmahal sa kapwa.
Noong isang linggo lang, nagdisisyong magmigrate ang kanyang mga magulang sa Amerika para makipagsosyo. Isasama sana siya ngunit tumanggi siya. Pero nagbigay ng kondisyon ang kanyang papa. Kung hindi raw siya sasama sa kanila ay kailangan niyang tumira sa Maynila kasama ng nakakatandang kapatid niyang si Natalie na siyang nag-aasikaso sa kanilang kompanya. Wala siyang magawa kaya, ayon. Nasa Maynila na siya ngayon. Doon na siya nag-aaral. Umalis siya kamakailan lang. Ang malungkot pa diyan ay eh ni hindi na siya nagpaalam. Hindi niya naisipang hanapin ako o tumawag man lang sa bahay upang mag-iwan ng mensahe. Kaya heto, naiwan ako ditong tanga. Wala nang makakasama.
Kung hindi lang sana pumayag si Fritz sa lahat ng plano ng kanyang papa ay siguradong hindi ko mararamdaman ang ganitong circus. Hindi ako makakadama ng pangungulila't lungkot. Alam kong na namang kasalanan ko dahil torpe ako at 'di ko naipagtapat sa kanya ang aking pag-ibig. Pero, hindi naman siguro manhid si Fritz, di ba? Tsaka mukhang kami na eh. Iyon nga lang ay walang sumpaan at aminang nangyari. Pero hindi pa ba pwepweding gawing basihan na lang ang aming pag-aalala sa isa't isa? Ang aming mga lambingan at kaswitan? Ang aming pinagsamahan at sumpaan? Hay nako! Ginagago talaga ako ng panahon, ng tadhana at niyang si kupido.
Umaga na. At ako'y maghihintay nalang. Hihintayin ko na matapos ang semestre at titiyakin kong makakapunta ako sa Maynila. Susundan ko siya at ipagtatapat ko ang nararamdamang ito. Bahala na mapagalitan. Bahala na mahirapan. Basta't huwag nang mangulila at malugmok. Ayaw kong umasa sa walang basihan. M. U. nga raw kami. Iyon palay Malabong Usapan. Kailangan ko na ang tapang. Kalaingan ko ng lumaban. Ulan, makikita mo rin. Madadial ko na rin ang mga numerong nakadikit sa bobong. Hindi na ako magiging Mr. TT pa. Hindi na.
Alas onse na ng gabi. Nakapatay na ang mga ilaw sa mga kwarto ng dormitoryong pinapasukan ko maliban sa aking silid. Hindi na yata ako matutulog. Nababagabag na kasi ako sa mumunting sigaw ng aking puso. Ewan ko ba at ganito katindi ang aking tama. Kung makikita ko lang sana si kupido, malalagot siya sa akin. Papanain ko siya sa sariling pana niya nang masubukan niyang maboang sa nakakaadik nitong mahika.
Unti-unti nang bumubuhos ang malakas na ulan kasabay ng malamig na hangin sa labas. Naririnig ko ang bawat patak nito. Wari bang nagsasabing “Hoy! Magsalita ka na nga!” at hinahamon ang katapangan ko. Hahaha... Nakakatawa, mukhang wala na man yata akong katapangan ah. Talo ko pa nga siguro ang nirarayumang mamang sumasabak sa gera. Ni hindi na ako makatayo at hindi ko na mapigilang mapaluha kapag naalala siya. Para bang nawawalan ako ng lakas.
Namimiss ko na talaga si Fritz. Siya ang puno't dulo ng aking pagkalugmok. Ang dahilan kung bakit ako balisa sa mga araw na ito. Matagal ko na siyang kaibigan simula pa noong kami'y nasa hayskul. Sikat siya sa kampus, kilala bilang matalino't magandang binbini. Pinagpapantasyahan ng mga kalalakihan. At kinaiingitan ng mga kababaihan. Siguro'y naiinsecure sila kay Fritz. Halos lahat kasi ng bagay ay nasa kanya na. Pinagpalang lubos kung maituturi.
Naalala ko tuloy, minsan ay napaaway ako para lang ipagtanggol siya. Akalain mo ba namang huhusgahan siyang mang-aagaw ng responsibilidad, malandi at epal sa lahat ng bagay ng mga pasosyal naming mga kamag-aral? Hindi siguro nila alam na lumaking mayamang may breeding si Fritz. Kaya, nakakasiguro akong hindi siya ganoong tao. Mabait siya, palakaibigan at mapagmahal sa kapwa.
Noong isang linggo lang, nagdisisyong magmigrate ang kanyang mga magulang sa Amerika para makipagsosyo. Isasama sana siya ngunit tumanggi siya. Pero nagbigay ng kondisyon ang kanyang papa. Kung hindi raw siya sasama sa kanila ay kailangan niyang tumira sa Maynila kasama ng nakakatandang kapatid niyang si Natalie na siyang nag-aasikaso sa kanilang kompanya. Wala siyang magawa kaya, ayon. Nasa Maynila na siya ngayon. Doon na siya nag-aaral. Umalis siya kamakailan lang. Ang malungkot pa diyan ay eh ni hindi na siya nagpaalam. Hindi niya naisipang hanapin ako o tumawag man lang sa bahay upang mag-iwan ng mensahe. Kaya heto, naiwan ako ditong tanga. Wala nang makakasama.
Kung hindi lang sana pumayag si Fritz sa lahat ng plano ng kanyang papa ay siguradong hindi ko mararamdaman ang ganitong circus. Hindi ako makakadama ng pangungulila't lungkot. Alam kong na namang kasalanan ko dahil torpe ako at 'di ko naipagtapat sa kanya ang aking pag-ibig. Pero, hindi naman siguro manhid si Fritz, di ba? Tsaka mukhang kami na eh. Iyon nga lang ay walang sumpaan at aminang nangyari. Pero hindi pa ba pwepweding gawing basihan na lang ang aming pag-aalala sa isa't isa? Ang aming mga lambingan at kaswitan? Ang aming pinagsamahan at sumpaan? Hay nako! Ginagago talaga ako ng panahon, ng tadhana at niyang si kupido.
Umaga na. At ako'y maghihintay nalang. Hihintayin ko na matapos ang semestre at titiyakin kong makakapunta ako sa Maynila. Susundan ko siya at ipagtatapat ko ang nararamdamang ito. Bahala na mapagalitan. Bahala na mahirapan. Basta't huwag nang mangulila at malugmok. Ayaw kong umasa sa walang basihan. M. U. nga raw kami. Iyon palay Malabong Usapan. Kailangan ko na ang tapang. Kalaingan ko ng lumaban. Ulan, makikita mo rin. Madadial ko na rin ang mga numerong nakadikit sa bobong. Hindi na ako magiging Mr. TT pa. Hindi na.
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